Sod's Law
by Reefgirl
Summary: The Ancient's built an entropy manipulator, Stargate Command has one half and Torchwood has the other so when there's an outbreak of Sod's Law they have to work with eachother and the Doctor to find out who's behind the outbreak. Triple crossover.
1. Chapter 1

Rating: T

Spoilers: The Return for SGA and the End of S3 for Dr Who

Pairings: Numerous

Summary: The Ancients built a machine that manipulates entropy, causing coincidence and Sod's Law. Stargate Command has one-half and Torchwood has the other so chaos ensues when the SGC has to work together with the Doctor and Torchwood to find out what has gone wrong.

Disclaimer: I own none of Dr Who, Torchwood or Stargate. Delilah Stirling and her mad family belong to me, Lydia belongs to BiteMeTechie, Max to Elizabeth Bartlett and Crysta to NenyaVilyaNenya, and they let me borrow them. The manipulating entropy idea I got from Jasper Fforde.

Authors Notes: Ok this is going to be very confusing to both sets of readers. This is something that came to mind after a couple of drinks and a rough night. Just bare with me, I hope it will be worth it.

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"That's odd," said the Doctor

"What?" asked Captain Jack Harkness

"The Tardis is going off course" the Doctor replied

"Oh surprise," grouched Martha Jones

"Doctor I'm supposed to be back in Cardiff this afternoon" said Jack

"And it's my nephew's birthday, I'm supposed to be dropping a present off at Leo's" added Martha

"And you'll be there as soon as I've figured out what's going on" retorted the Doctor. Jack and Martha sighed in disgust and sat in the crew chairs

"Typical" said Martha

"Entropy" said the Doctor

"Huh?" replied Jack

"There's slight entropy field in the Southern counties of England, Hampshire to be precise," said the Doctor

"What's entropy?" asked Martha

"High levels of it cause coincidence and what you humans call Sod's Law, for instance if you walk through an entropy field, the heels on your shoes would break or you'd ladder your tights or meet an old flame who you were thinking about earlier" replied the Doctor.

"Oh" said Martha "so there really is an explanation for why everything goes wrong when your alarm fails to go off" the Doctor chuckled

"Yeah, look out we're going to land" he said.

* * *

Dr Delilah Stirling was sitting on the wall surrounding her parent's rose garden, making the most of the sunshine to carry on with the drawing she planned to take back to the SGC with her. She had been part of the Atlantis project for the last year or so but the Ancients had returned and booted them out, she had spent the last couple of months at home catching up with family and friends but soon she would have to return to Colorado. The SGC wanted her to use the programme she had spent a year preparing to make accurate calendars for many of the off world bases. A strong wind began to blow, she looked up and saw a phone box materialise

"Bloody Rodney" she said with a sigh and went back to her drawing. In the Tardis, The Doctor, Jack and Martha clustered around the viewing screen

"Not a murmur, no open-mouthed amazement, no screaming, nothing all she did was look up, roll her eyes and carry on doing...whatever it is she's doing," said the Doctor, clearly annoyed.

"Is she an old companion?" asked Jack

"No, I'd remember someone with hair that colour," said the Doctor

"So why don't we go and say hello?" said Martha as she headed for the door.

Delilah heard the door of the phone box open

"Rodney, I know you're a fan of Bill and Ted but this is going too far, even for you," she said, without looking up

"Ah, I'm not Rodney," said the Doctor. Delilah looked up and smiled

"I can see that" she looked past the Doctor and his companions and took in the blue box "different, so is he in there?"

"Who" asked the Doctor in confusion

"Rodney, Dr Rodney McKay" she said.

"No, I..." he started

"Radek Zelenka?" the Doctor shook his head "Bill Lee?" he shook his head again "Sam Carter?" she asked

"There's a name I've heard before," murmured Jack to Martha

"Thor?" asked Delilah in desperation.

"I'm on my own," the Doctor yelled

"Alright, so you're not the SGC" Delilah yelled back

"You know of Stargate Command?" said Jack, Delilah looked at him in surprise

"The worrying thing is that you do" she replied guardedly.

"We've been trying to negotiate with them for a couple of months but all we've been getting is static and abuse" Jack replied with a grin

"Who's 'we'?" she asked

"Torchwood, I'm Captain Jack Harkness" he said, Delilah's eyes widened and an amused smirk touched her mouth

"Oh so _you're _Jack Harkness" she said

"You've heard of me? I heard you mention Sam Carter," he asked

"Apparently she has a clay doll with a lock of your hair pressed into it which she jabs pins into every morning" said Delilah. Jack laughed

"Ouch, we have traded more than a few insults in the past" Jack stuck out his hand "so now we've established credentials, Miss..."

"Stirling, _Doctor _Delilah Stirling, astronomer" she said as she shook Jack's hand,

"Now there's a coincidence," murmured the Doctor to Martha.

"That entropy field thing?" she asked, the Doctor nodded, Jack grinned at Delilah

"Should I be worried by your name?" he said, she smiled back flirtatiously,

"Your hair's not long enough flyboy" she replied. Martha chuckled

"Jack" the Doctor said warningly

"And your friends? Are they Torchwood too, I thought you'd all been destroyed in the Canary Wharf thing" Delilah said

"I'm the Doctor, she's Martha, we don't work for Torchwood and it seems Cardiff is all that's left," replied the Doctor. Delilah shook Martha's hand

"Lucky girl" she said with a wink, Martha smiled back

"I'm not so sure" she replied conspiratorially, she liked the older woman.

"Hey" said Jack and the Doctor

"Delilah, hey Delilah" she turned to see a teenage girl running towards them

"What?" she yelled back. The girl bent over and breathed deeply

"Give me a bloody minute will you" she got her breath back "ok, Dr McKay's been on the phone again" Delilah sighed

"Tell him I died" she replied

"I did but he said you'd used that excuse three times already," said the girl

"Ah" Delilah said

"So I told him you'd been assimilated by the Borg," the girl said. Delilah burst out laughing along with Jack and Martha

"What did he say to that?" Delilah asked

"He said unless you'd turned into Seven of Nine, he wasn't going to believe that either so I said you'd call him back," she said

"Thanks" Delilah replied. The girl eyed the Doctor, Jack and Martha

"Friends of yours?" she asked, emphasising the 'friends'.

"I've never met these people before but he's the Doctor, she's Martha and he's Jack, this here is my niece Katie" said Delilah.

"I've seen you before?" said Martha to Katie

"Yeah, I was going to say the same thing to you, do you study at St Martin-in-the-Fields?" Katie asked

"No, the Royal Hope Hospital" replied Martha. Katie snapped her fingers and pointed

"That's it, Sally Jenkins' party, you told the joke about the one legged jockey" she said, Martha blushed

"And you sang that really sad song about leaving home" said Martha.

"Dirty jokes Martha? Said Jack with a leer

"I'll tell you one day" she replied

"So what happened to that bloke who was handcuffed to the kitchen sink?" asked Katie as she and Martha wandered back towards the house

"Martha" yelled the Doctor and Jack

"Later" she called back.

"Well what are the odds of that?" remarked Delilah

"I don't know but the odds are dropping rapidly," said the Doctor

"Entropy again?" questioned Jack

"Looks like it" replied the Doctor

"What-opy" asked Delilah

"Entropy, it's a big...Sod's Law field thing" said the Doctor nonchalantly.

"Delilah, oi auntie" another girl ran towards them, a hippy version of Katie

"Thank you God, there is a Santa Claus" murmured Jack

"Jack" said the Doctor.

"This is Lili, Katie's twin sister, what's up girlie," Delilah said

"Laura's here with a couple of stiffs from the US Airforce" Lili replied

"Define stiff," Delilah said with a roll of her eyes.

"A blonde called Colonel Carter, a Colonel Sheppard who looks like he's stuck his fingers in a plug socket and some git called Dr McKay," she said. Delilah put her head in her hands

"I'm going to kill Colonel Caldwell," she muttered "what a coincidence, Rodney McKay _and_ Sam Carter are here now," she said aloud

"Yeah, what a coincidence" replied the doctor.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: Same as Ch 1

AN: I'm not sure whether I should switch catagories or not, let me know if I should

**Edit:** I'm moving this to the Dr Who section

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Delilah rounded on the two men standing in front of her; she was starting to get annoyed

"Ok what's going on, you" she pointed at the Doctor "with your badly fitting suit, so out of date it needs carbon dating" the Doctor opened his mouth to protest as Jack laughed. "And you 'Captain' if that's what you are, with a fetish for World War Two uniforms and a rather worryingly intimate knowledge of one of the most top secret organisations in the world, which I, coincidently, happen to work for. You land in my garden in a phone box from Dixon of Dock Green with a girl who just happened to be at the same party as my niece and you spout off about Sod's Law fields as if I'm supposed to know what it means, so explain" she shouted. The Doctor scratched his ear absentmindedly

"Erm...you _really_ wouldn't understand," he said, Delilah glared at him

"Lili do you know if Colonel's Sheppard and Carter are armed" asked Delilah, Lili dragged her attention away from Jack's arse

"Can't say I noticed," she admitted.

"Now wait a minute, I can explain, that's my ship and we were going to Cardiff but it sensed an entropy field and landed us here, as I said entropy causes coincidence which is why we've...well you" he pointed to Jack and Delilah "have got something in common" said the Doctor, quickly.

Delilah's phone rang, she sighed as Laura's number popped up and she answered it

"Laura, yeah I know but we have visitors, one says he's with Torchwood...um...Jack Harkness...oh ok" she looked at Jack and chuckled "you should be ashamed of yourself auntie, on my way" Delilah said into her phone. She snapped it shut "well it looks like you're going to meet Sam Carter face to face, your Torchwood credentials actually hold some credibility with the International Oversight Authority, come on". The four of them started to make their way back to the house

"Would Laura be Lady Laura Harlington, she of the extremely sexy voice by any chance?" asked Jack

"Yes, my aunt, how do you know her? As far as I know the IOA has nothing to do with Torchwood, you tend to keep yourself to yourself, so I've heard anyway," replied Delilah

"I called in a few of favours and got hold of her number to help me negotiate with Stargate Command over a couple of things" Jack looked at the Doctor, who'd gone quite pale "you ok? He asked. The Doctor shook himself out of his daydream

"What? Oh...yeah...just a bit of a shock that's all, but I should have guessed, what with the entropy field and all that, but Laura" he smiled at Delilah "I really should have clicked when you introduced yourself" he explained, Delilah looked at Jack, who shrugged,

"Ok" she said.

* * *

They reached the house and an elegant woman dressed in black came out to meet them 

"Darling how are you?" she said as she kissed Delilah on the cheek

"Fine thanks, this is Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood," she said as Jack took Laura's hand and shook it

"I'm pleased to meet you at last Ma'am," he said.

"And this is..." she started to introduce the Doctor but he flung his arms around Laura and hugged her, much to her surprise"

"Laura, it's wonderful to see you again," he said with a grin

"As much as I like strange young men throwing themselves at me, but I'm sure I'd remember if we'd met before," Laura replied with a chuckle

"Oh yeah, I've changed since we last met, it's me the Doctor" he said. Laura shook her head

"No, you're not the Doctor, he was older and he had a thing for velvet, his assistant then was a pretty girl called Jo Grant" she said

"I regenerated but I am him, Lady Laura Harlington wife of the late Colonel Jack Harlington, worked for MI5 for a while trapping spies. After Jack was killed you moved to UNIT to become a negotiator, you saved the world when you helped me fight off an attack by a race of poison spitting plant people" he said. Laura's face softened

"My goodness, it is you" she said in wonder

"Yes" he said with a smile

"Ahem" said an annoyed voice behind them, Laura sighed and turned to Delilah

"I'm sorry darling but they insisted," she said

"If you'd answer you phone instead of ignoring me we wouldn't need to come here," said Dr Rodney McKay

"I always ignore you Rodney, ok introduction time, from Stargate Command we have, Colonel Samantha Carter, Colonel John Sheppard and the one with the whiney voice is Dr Rodney McKay, from God only knows where we have the Doctor, from Torchwood Captain Jack Harkness and from the Royal Hope Hospital we have Martha," said Delilah. Sam Carter glared at Jack

"You're not what I expected," she said, Jack saluted smartly

"A pleasure to meet you Colonel Carter Ma'am" he said. Put on the back foot, Sam returned the salute

"Captain" she replied

"Ok who's going to go first?" asked Laura, the Doctor drew in a breath but Rodney beat him to it

"We've been tracking an entropy field, it's getting stronger, obviously, and it's stopped here so which one of you stole our entropy manipulator" said Rodney.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: Same as Ch 1

AN: More talking I know but there will be a lot in this story, if you don't like it don't read it, sorry. And please stop telling me how to write my story, I know you're trying to help but it's _my _story I'll write it the way _I_ see fit, Thank you.

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Everyone stared open-mouthed at Rodney McKay

"What!!" said the Doctor

"Which one of you stole our entropy manipulator" said Rodney slowly, as if he was speaking to children. Sam rolled her eyes, Delilah put her head in her hands and Sheppard slapped the back of McKay's head

"McKay" he warned

"What?" Replied Rodney

"Manners" said Sheppard.

"Well they're here, there's an entropy field here, work it out" argued McKay, Sam sighed

"I'm sorry about him" she said

"So you have a machine that manipulates entropy?" asked the Doctor

"Had, we found it earlier on in the year, we were studying it and records of experiments that were done just after it was found when it disappeared, from Area 51" explained Sam.

"So which one of you has got it" said Rodney again,

"McKay" said Sam

"Not me" replied the Doctor "I didn't know you could manipulate entropy"

"Blimey that's not something you hear every day" said Martha "I don't even know what entropy is".

"Don't look at me, I'm an astronomer not an gadget geek like you McKay, I wouldn't know what it looks like" said Delilah

"We've got our own" said Jack smugly as he pulled out his mobile and dialled "hi gorgeous is Tosh around?"

"Lover boy I expect" said the Doctor to Martha who chuckled. Jack winked at McKay who ducked behind Sheppard

"Oh ok can you ask her to call me when she gets back, I need her to tell me about that Sod's Law machine" Jack held the phone away from his ear as Welsh cursing was heard

"Ianto" he gently put the phone back to his ear "Ianto" he sighed as the man on the other end carried on ranting "IANTO!!!" Jack yelled "It's only a game get over it, it wasn't Tosh's fault" he held the phone away from his ear again "oh God he's got Gwen going now, just get Tosh to call me" he said as he hung up.

"Well" said Sam

"We found a piece of technology in the Antarctic a year or so ago, Tosh...ah...Toshiko Sato my techno geek reckons it comes from an ancient civilization that left for some reason or other a million or so years ago" Jack replied

"And what did your 'Research' tell you" asked Rodney snidely. Jack grinned

"That's it's a bad idea to mess around with it, especially during sporting events, what are the odds of getting a javelin in the chest" he said

"Ah that explains it, I wondered how that happened" said the Doctor with a smile

"It was one of the strangest ways I've died" Jack replied. Everyone turned to look at Jack

"Long story, you wouldn't understand" said the Doctor, Rodney huffed and folded his arms over his chest

"When Tosh started fiddling about with it the second time Wales were playing the All Blacks at the stadium, they were winning when their kicker or whatever he's called in rugby got a call to say his girlfriend had gone into labour so he left the pitch and Wales lost the match". Jack smirked at a memory "Ianto and Gwen didn't speak to Tosh for two weeks, she pretty much shelved it after that, who'd want to manipulate entropy to cause coincidence apart from bent bookies?" he said, Sam shrugged

"I have no idea but we did wonder why, the only thing we can think it was a weapon of sorts" she said

"Why would the Ancients build something like this as a weapon?" asked Delilah. Sam looked at Laura as if asking how much they should tell the others, Laura understood

"Go ahead, I can vouch for the Doctor and Captain Harkness' credentials" she said with a smile,

"The Ancients is our name for that group of advanced humans. Several million years ago, the Ancients sowed the seeds of civilization on planets in this galaxy, set up home in the city of Atlantis in Antarctica, and waited I guess. Anyway a plague or something broke out and began to wipe them out, in an effort to save their race they packed up and left for the Pegasus galaxy" said Sam

"Wait a minute, Atlantis, the lost city of Atlantis but that's a myth and it's supposed to be at the bottom of the ocean not in Antarctica" retorted Martha.

"We discovered the co-ordinates a couple of years ago and sent an expedition out there, we've set up a bit of a colony" said Sam with pride in her voice. Laura looked at the Doctor for conformation

"Don't look at me, we had enough problems keeping this galaxy in one piece without looking for more trouble" said the Doctor , Jack shook his head

"Nope can't help either, we never went that far back there was no need" replied Jack "although there were always reports of strange archaeological finds in the early 20th century so I thought I'd take a look at the Giza dig of 1928" Jack smirked "interesting find don't cha think" he said to Sam.

"You were at the dig where they found the Stargate" said Rodney in disbelief

"Jack's older than he looks" put in Martha

"Alright, enough with the cryptic stuff, explain" said Sheppard angrily

"Martha's right, I'm older than I look thanks to an incident with a dalek and a shop girl with the power of a God I became immortal, I can't die and God knows I've tried" said Jack

"I'm a time traveller and so was Jack for a time" said the Doctor

"Right" said Rodney sarcastically

"An interplanetary travel device was found, known as a Stargate it resurfaced in 1945 when the American military succeeded in making it work, after an accident it was kept in storage until the late sixties when more research was done on it. In 1995 it was opened then put into storage again it became fully operational in 1997" Jack looked at the shocked faces "did I miss anything?" He said cockily

"Why the interest?" Asked the Doctor

"Because the Stargate was found a century earlier than it should have been, someone _seriously_ screwed with time" he replied.


End file.
